Feeling captured.

I have the feeling of being captured.
By my own mum.
Captured in a cave just being as huge as I am.
Captured in me.
And I am panting for air.
Cause she is taking it, my own mum is taking the air I need to breathe.
She is the hands about my neck, choking.
Sometimes more and sometimes less, but never gone, always present.
And when she feels that she needs to choke me, she is there.
Just pinching her hands a bit stronger around my neck.
Until she feels and sees that I can't breathe anymore.
She is not satisfied until she sees that I can't breathe, that my lips are turning blue.
That is when she is taking her hands off me, waiting for the next time to torture me.