I'm really asking myself "Why didn't I just end it all yet?"
Mean, I have no one who is there. My best friend left, my other really close friend left, another one did, too. My father doesn't even know I exist. My ex-boyfriend thinks I'm a crazy stupid bitch or whatever. And my mother doesn't even know that it has come this far.
I have no one and it's all my fault. There is no one who would even notice that I'm gone.
Okay there is my mum and my granny, they would and I would be sorry for them because I really do love them but they would be better off without me. Everyone would be.
It really hurts to say something like that but unfortunately it's the truth.
No one would care. And it makes me feel kinda free. Because then no one would be sad.
They could just live their lives because they wouldn't have to see me, think about that I still exist. My mum wouldn't have to be worried anymore. Life would be wonderful for them.
Seems like this is gonna be the best decision I've ever made in my whole entire life.
I hope you're all proud of me.

Do not stand at my grave and weep;

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain. 

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.