Stormy weather in my head.

I don't really know what to think right now.

On the one hand, I had this amazing night yesterday/today.

But on the other hand, all these things are coming back into my head,

taking over again.

And I know I have to fight them.

And I know I want to fight them but I just don't feel strong enough to stand it.

I'm sorry.

This is the life.

Thank you so much, my lovely girls.
I had such a wonderful, amazing, gorgeous evening.
I don't even know what to say.

I just wanted to let you know that I'm really glad to have you all.
You are... like my reason to live.
Thanks for that. Thanks for always being there for me.
Thanks for everything.

I really love you.

And deep inside I hope that someday someone will come and take me 

AWAY 

from here.

The youth is in love with the death.

And MAYBE I am not as strong as you all thought.

Isn't it strange to NOT be you inside your own body?
To always fight against yourself?
And YOU are always the one who's loosing.
'Cause there is no other enemy.

What if I wouldn't have her?