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Sonntag

I'll be gone... Well, just for three weeks, unfortunately.

I have no internet connection there so I won't be able to post anything.

I'll see all you lovely sweethearts in three weeks.
Hopefully I'll return in the skinny way.

Stay beautiful and take care!!
ALL OF YOU!
You are amazing!!!



Disgusting useless waste of space.

I take up ways too much space.

Freitag

Beauty from pain.

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me,
I know I'm alive
But I feel like i've died.

And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made.
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away.

After all this has passed
I still will remain.
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain.
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain.

You will bring beauty from my pain.


And who do you think you are?

Running 'round leaving scars,
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart.
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I wish someone would say that to me without me acting like a person I'm not.

I would love to go back to dancing...

... But the fear of someone seeing my scars is bigger.

Mittwoch

Lost. But nobody can see it.

...Until it's too late.

Freitag

I wanna feel something, just anything.

I wanna be scared.
I wanna be hurt.
I wanna feel something.

Sometimes I feel that I get thinner....

... And then there are days like this again.
... And then there is this fat me!

Invisible

I take these pills to make me thin,
I dye my hair and cut my skin.
I tried everything, to make them see me
But all they see is someone that's not me.

Even when I'm walking on a wire,
Even when I set myself on fire,
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible.
Everyday I try to look my best,
Even though inside I'm such a mess,
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible.

Here inside, my quiet hell,
You cannot hear my cries for help.
I tried everything to make them see me
But everyone sees what I can't be.

Even when I'm walking on a wire,
Even when I set myself on fire,
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible.
Everyday I try to look my best,
Even though inside I'm such a mess,
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible.


Sonntag

My mother.

She's hurting me, hurting my feelings.
But I won't cry infront of her.
I will cry on my own later.
Cry my own tears, my own red tears.

Hopefully one will be deep enough.
You make me wanna die!