Nobody sees me. Nobody needs me. Nobody is interested. Nobody cares. Nobody notices and nobody will cry.
Because I am a nobody. Everyone get's what he deserves.


And there are some itches only a razor can scratch.

Give me love. Make it stop. Make those voices stop. Make them stop, please.


But maybe they're right.

Maybe it's the truth.
Maybe I should let them win.
Maybe I should just leave and let them win.
Don't be a maybe!
Game over.

Fake. Jealousy. Despite. Moods. Hate.

Lost in this world.
Everyone around me seems so happy. People finding their love, their soulmate. Then there are people traveling to other countries, trying to find who they really are, starting to plan their future. People changing themselves to stay in their role.
But then there are people who are more evil. People who are talking shit behind other peoples' backs. People who are trying to get between other people. People who would do anything to destroy you and your life.
I know all of these people. And I am the person that should be destroyed. There are these people who are talking about things concerning me. And they have no idea what they are talking about. They think they know me but they don't. They don't know anything about me. How should they? I don't even know who I am. Anyway, they are talking about things concerning my illness, my mental illness. They talk about things that happen because of my illness but they say that it's my personality. These things would never be my personality, never. And I don't know what to do because everyone seems to believe them. They want to abolish me, I know it. They haven't any other reasons to say things like that.
These words hurt because I can't do anything against it. I can't tell them...

Well... that was quite confusing. Summed up in a sentence: There are people who would like to see me fall but I won't grant them their victory. It's hard for me to fight because there are so many things to fight for at the moment but I won't fall, not over these stones they have placed on my path.




- an unpleasant emotion by the threat of danger, pain or harm.

I am scared of people. I am scared of what they might talk behind my back. I'm scared they're analyzing and judging every single thing I say and do. I'd rather isolate myself, stay at home in my room all day because I can't trust people anymore. Every time I tried to open myself towards other people, I was left alone. I feel like there is no one who'd care enough to stay. I am afraid of people and their actions. That's why I am not with people, with friends. Never.

I'm done. Alone. Lost.

I need someone to save me. I need someone to tell me it's worth the fight. I need someone to be there for me. Right here.
Game over.


I'd go to hell and back for you.

Even if saving you sends me to heaven.


Totally fucked up. Finally.

And all I can think of is "Nothing hurts when you're dead."
Everything will be fine then.
So much pressure. So much pressure. I can't stand it.
I need blood, I need to see blood.
That fat fucking pig needs to bleed. She needs to fucking lose blood now that she isn't even losing weight.
Lose weight, lose blood and finally lose your life.
DIE, bitch. DIE.