You wake up in the morning afraid that you're going to live.

It hurts and they'll never know.

This pain is just too real...

Free me.

Watch me as I pretend to feel no pain.

Everyday's truth.

Love language.

It's ironic.

We started this for control.
Yet in the end, it controls us.



The fear of not being good enough.

Don't believe the things you tell yourself so late at night.

You are your own worst enemy.


Happy Birthday, Bitch!


A pill...

A pill to make you numb.
A pill to make you dumb.
A pill to make you anybody else.
But all the drugs in this world
Won't save her from herself.


I want to feel free. Dead or alive. I don't care.

Not just my face.

There is no maybe about it.

Awkward moment if you're telling something serious and others don't take it like that.

Tell me... Please.

It's too late for that shit...

I am...

And it kind of...

It kind of feels empty and confused inside me.
I don't know what to think, what to write, what to say, what to do.
I don't know who I am, where I am and why.
It feels lonely. And it scares me.
Cause I wanna feel and live and laugh and have fun.
This is how I wanna live every day of my life.



This is what I am....
Let me be beautiful.
Let me be skinny.


I thought I could be strong, but it's killing me.

You won't save me.

Hurt me.

Torture me.
Beat me.
Let me feel the pain.
Let me feel the bad person I am.
Let me feel that I am worthless.
And finally, kill me!


Born this way....


Fly away, just fly. And never come back.

The urge.

You can't kill me, I'm already dead.

Cause sometimes you're not as strong as you thought you could be!

CauseI know you don't...


The quietest people have the loudest minds.


This is so..... !
So egoistic!



- Long sleeves
- Cardigans
- Cut burning from sweat
- No bikini - Too fat
- No bikini - Scars
-Brightness only shows how dark I am inside.


The awkward moment when you realize that you are alone.

Alone with yourself.
Just alone.
You can do anything you want.
And there are these little things, calling my name.
They want me, I want them in kinda way.
I need them and they know!
They know and they are calling my name.
I try to be strong but the longer they call, the weaker I get.
And then, sooner or later, I can't stand them.
And they know. They know everything about me. And I know everything about them.
But however I can't stand them.
Even though I know that they lie to me.
That they don't do anything good to me.
That I actually don't need them
Even though I know all that about them, I can't stand them!

Nowhere to go.

I would die for you but you won't do the same.



I can't do this anymore.
I don't wanna do this anymore!


Somebody please come and help me.

I am so afraid.
Afraid of the future.
Afraid of going to bed in the evening.
Afraid of waking up the next morning.
Afraid of getting through the day.
I am afraid of life.
Afraid of no being good enough.
Afraid of not getting anything done.
Afraid of not being successful.
I am afraid of life.
Please. I need help.

Free me. Save me. From myself.


Cause I miss you.

I miss your laugh.
I miss your smile.
I miss the way we talk.
I miss the way we go for walks.
I miss every little piece of you.
Every little piece.
And it's killing me inside that I nearly lost you.
That you stood so close to the edge.
But I am so glad you got over that.
I am glad to have you here with me.
I don't know how to live without you.
I miss you every second of a day.
I miss you like crazy.

She is my soul.
She is my heart.
She is my flame, my best hour of the day.
She gives me life, she is a part of me.
She is my blood.
She is my eye.
She is my angel, unaffordable.
She is everything I love in this world.
She is my reason to be, my reason to live.
I will stay with her until the last second of my life.
She is my love.
She is my live.
She is my shadow.
She is my voice.
She is my treasure of gold.
She is my faith.
She is my luck.
She is my breath, my awareness of life.
And she is ways more than that.
She is my everything.

My little girl, I love you.
And I never wanna be without you.
You are the best friend in this world, MY best friend.
You're never gonna be alone.



My dearest readers....

Sorry I am not posting so much at the moment.
It's cause I just have "real internet" on the weekend.
The rest of the week I just have this "mobile internet" and my mobile is not able to open Blogspot.
I am really sorry, but I promise I will be posting more on the weekend and be there for all of you.

I love you.