No matter what happens 
there will always be a place for you in my heart.
No one will ever be able to take that away from you and me.
Just remember that.
Please.

I guess she will never know...

Maybe she's angry because I didn't answer her letter.
But what she'll never understand, is that I still love her.
And I just didn't answer cause I don't wanna destroy what was there before.
I didn't want to answer the letter in anger and frustration cause I would have destroyed it all and made everything worse.
I know she'll never read this but if I could make all this unhappened, I would.
I would turn back time for this girl because she is the best friend I ever had.
Well... at least I thought she would be the best I will ever have...
But know it's gone and blown away with the wind.

I miss her but she'll never know cause I am too afraid and insecure to tell her what I think.
That I didn't meant that to happen, that this wasn't my intention.
That I would change for her, if I ever had the chance to.

I am sorry.

I wish she'd know!

2 hours of inline skating today.

What a feeling.
Free.
Feeling the wind.
Feeling the fat melting.
Awesome.

Demons talk.

You're too fat.
You're not worth it.
You'll never be good enough.
You don't deserve it.
You will be even unhappier with this.
You know what happens if you will do this?
Bitch.
Slut.
Fat pig.
You're so fake.
You should better work out more than that.
Move your fucking ass.
Go.
I don't want your fat body around here.
Bitch.
You deserve to die.
You're nothing!
YOU are worthless.

Hard to stand the pressure of the day.

Failure!

This is me...
I am a failure.
Everyday, again and again.
Too weak to resist.
Too strong to let go.

I need to loose it. Fat. Fat. Disgusting fat.

You're a liar.

And I always thought you'd know me.
I don't need a person like you.
Even if I always thought I would.
This is... not true!!!!