And it's again like a deep stitch in my heart.
I don't really know what to feel, what to think right now.
I was really looking forward to that day.
And now it's all gone.
I had such a wonderful plan for that day.
It really would have been perfect.
I guess she really would have been happy about it.
But matter.

No, it's okay for me. It is. It is. It is.
Pretending something isn't as easy as I thought.
I'm afraid of today evening.
I'm fucking afraid.
Actually I wasn't but NOW!
Now I am....

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