You gotta choose!

Do you know the feeling of actually feeling good,
being around people you love,
doing whatever you want to and what you like

but STILL not feeling good,
still not feeling alive and
still not feeling as if you really want to live,
as if you want to keep on living this life until the end?

What would you do if you are in such a situation?
Cause I really don't know.

I feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff.
I have the choice:

Jumping, which would be so easy to do.
Just one step,
just a little little step,
no more fear,
no more pain,
no more thoughts.

Or going back to the tightened ground,
back to earth.
Starting all over.
But before you have to fight a lot,
do a lot of work,
work on your life,
your problems,
work on everything that keeps yourself away from feeling alive.

Which way would you choose?
And which way do I want to choose?

I am really thinking about ending all this here.
It would be so much easier.
I could be happy again.
I could be free.
And it would last forever.
Forever.
Forever.
Forever.
Forever.