Everyone does it.

Everyone is doing it. Every day.
Small kids start to learn it from the very beginning. They listen to the grown ups and they try to do it, too but it doesn't really work at first. When they are a bit older they learn more and more, they start to copy it from their parents. The older they grow the better they get. The more they learn the wiser and cleverer they sound. Some people don't need it to understand each other, they do it with their hearts. Some people aren't able to do it, they do it with their hands. But everyone learned it a long time ago.
But there are also people who seemed to have forgotten about it.
There are people who seem to not being able to talk anymore. There are a lot of things in my head that I would like to tell, at least I'd like to tell them to my therapist. But I just can't. I don't know how to talk anymore. I don't know how to tell about these things. And it scares me. It scares me because on this way I have all that in my head twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. If I was able to tell someone, I guess it might disappear. Or at least it would be less scary. I would feel less alone and lost.
But I just can'twon'tdon'twantto. My head is a mess and a scary place to be and I don't want to be there anymore. My head makes me speechless even though there is a lot to tell.
And there is no one to save me from my thoughts. Cause I don't deserve it, I don't deserve help. Everything in this life happens for reasons. And this is what I deserve.

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