I wish I could just break free. Break free from what I am.
I wanna scream out loud that I can't do this anymore. I wish I could cry for help.
But I know I am not worth it. I don't deserve help. I has to be even worse before I am allowed to get help. I need to die before I get help.
I wish I could just tell my boss that I need therapy, more than once or twice a month.
I wish I could tell my therapist that I need help, that I'm not strong enough. That now there is this point from which I can't live anymore.
But I just can't. I can't speak. I can't accept help.
Because deep inside I know that I am just a waste of space and a waste of time. Therapists should waste their time with harder cases than me, they should give their time to people who really need help. Who deserve it.
I am just nothing.