I hate that I always feel the need to do something for other people. Eat for them is the worst one. I hate that I always feel like I need to eat in front of my mum. She's always so happy when we have dinner together. We usually don't see each other during the week but when she's here on friday, she loves when we go to BurgerKing or something like these fast food things because that is the only time we spend together while I am working.
Mostly I am working seven days a week, but sometimes I have a "free weekend" where I come home. But when I don't, she comes to visit me and cause there aren't really any restaurants here, we always go to BurgerKing. I hate it, I hate it so much, I feel like the most disgusting person ever after eating there. But when I look at her, I feel like I have to do it. She is so happy when she sees me eat. She looks so happy. I don't want to disappoint her, this is why I'm eating this disgusting shit.
And this is why I am back to that gross number 6.
I am feeling like a pig, like a whale. Today is a weak day. I hate them. Yesterdays' dinner with mum made me weak. I have to be strong, I have to keep going, I have to go back to number 5!!!!!
I am such a disgusting bitch!