This fear isn't like the fear of spiders.

It's the fear of waking up in the morning and recognizing that you can't and you don't want to live like this anymore.
It's the fear of becoming fat, fatter than I am now.
It's the fear of never being good enough, not smart enough, not skinny enough.
It's the fear of never fitting in this society.
It's the fear of the future and of what will change now and then.
It's the fear of loosing the people around me.
And it's the fear of death.
Death... It's my biggest desire and my biggest fear.
We have like a love-hate-relationship.
And this is what scares me.
What if, at some point, I just decide to not care anymore.
What if, at some point, love is bigger than hate and I decide to just go?
Will someone notice before it's too late?
Will I notice?

I don't think so.

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